Rabbits Love Liquorice
Cashel, County Tipperary
Rabbits Love Liquorice are a dynamic Tipperary based band just out of college, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. They have been known to remodel train stations on their lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. They translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, they write award-winning soap operas, they manage time efficiently. Occasionally, they tread water for three days in a row.
They woo women with their synchronized swimming, they can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and Colm cooks Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. They are experts in Sudoku, veterans in love, and an outlawed in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, they once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. They are the subject of numerous documentaries. When he’s bored, Billy builds large suspension bridges in his yard. They enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after practice, they repair electrical appliances free of charge.
One member is an abstract artist, one a concrete analyst, and another a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over Stone’s original line of corduroy evening wear. Davy doesn’t perspire. Dan has been caller number nine and has won the weekend passes. Colm’s deft floral arrangements have earned him fame in international botany circles. Philly can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy.
They once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. They know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. They have performed several covert operations for the CIA. They sleep once a week; when they do sleep, they sleep in chairs. While on vacation in Dingle, they successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to them. Years ago they discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.
All that’s left for them, is to make it in the music business.